Teen Mental Health

Please refer to the following topics related to teen mental health:

Positive parenting

As children get older, the ratio of praise to criticism shifts such that there is less praise and more criticism or making demands. This puts quite a bit of strain on the parent-child relationship, leaving kids feeling less supported. When kids experience anxiety or depressed moods, and the parent-child relationship is strained, it makes it even harder for kids. When parents and caregivers focus on the parent-child relationship in everyday interactions, teens can draw on that parent or caregiver in times of greater distress or upset.

Incorporating more positives in parenting teens

There is no "perfect parenting." If you keep increasing the positive interactions with your teen, then your connection will keep getting better. Follow these ABC's and feel your connection improve:

  • Aim for connection: Think of your relationship with your teen like a bank account; the more positives (deposits) you can put in—listening, praising, acceptance—the better your relationship grows. Consistently evaluate your deposits and withdrawals, aiming for net positive.
  • Build moments of positivity: Be aware. Notice and point out the times your teen is doing something good or helpful, even if it seems small. Even talking about something neutral or funny can also build up your bank account. Be interested in your teen’s interests; have them show you what they look at on social media or TV, or what music they like.
  • Cut back on criticism: It’s impossible to never make a request or correct your teen, but try to focus on the positive interactions more than the negative ones.

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Supporting good decision-making

Our job as parents is to guide our teens as they become more independent. This means that parents need to give teens the space to make decisions. This can be hard especially when their choices are different than we would have wanted. Allowing teens to practice with "little" decisions helps them to be prepared when faced with the "big" decisions.

When limits need to be set, it is helpful to include some kind of choice, if possible. When we allow our teens to have some input it usually leads to fewer arguments.

Example: “I know you still have some things to get done today. I need to pick up your brother from soccer practice now; would you rather come with me and work on your summer reading in the car or stay home and finish your laundry?"

In cases where there does not have to be a firm limit, use that time to practice with your teen how to problem-solve by talking together about different options.

Example: “You want to spend the night at Janie‘s house. But we are new in town and I don’t know Janie or her parents and so I feel a little worried about that. What ideas do you have about how we can solve this?”

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