Please look at the sections below to see some ideas about teen mental health:
Positive parenting
As children get older and become teens, the amount of praise compared to criticism changes; often, there is less praise and more criticism or demands. This can be a problem in a parent's relationship with their teen because the teen might feel less supported. When teens have anxiety, are depressed, or feeling stressed, they want to be able to talk to their parents. When parents and caregivers notice good things about a teen and talk about them in everyday conversations, teens feel supported and can lean on that parent or caregiver in times of need.
Ways to be more positive with your teens
There is no "perfect parenting," but the more you can be positive with your teen, the better your relationship will be. Follow these ABC's and feel your relationship improve:
- Aim for connection: Think of your relationship with your teen like a bank account; the more positives (deposits) you can put in—listening, praise, acceptance—the better your relationship gets. Negative comments (withdrawals) can make your relationship more difficult. Regularly check on your deposits and withdrawals, aiming for more positives than negatives.
- Build moments of positivity: Be aware. Notice and point out when your teen is doing something good or helpful, even if it seems small. Even talking about something easy or funny can also build up the positives in your bank account. Be interested in what your teen likes; have them show you what they look at on social media or TV or talk about what music they like.
- Cut back on criticism: It's impossible to never make a request or correct your teen, but if you can ensure the positives happen more than the negatives, you will still build a good relationship.
Related videos
Resources
- 10 Tips for Parenting Tweens (Child Mind Institute): Get tips on how to stay close to kids as they become teens.
- 10 Tips to Help Dads and Daughters Stay Close (Child Mind Institute): Read tips on how to deal with the changes in relationships between fathers and teen daughters.
- Positive Parenting Newsfeed: These short videos offer practical tips for parents that have been proven to work.
Supporting good decision-making
Our job as parents is to guide our teens as they become more independent. Parents need to give teens the space to make decisions. This can be hard, especially when their choices are different from what we would have wanted. Allowing teens to practice with "little" decisions helps them be prepared when facing "big" decisions.
When limits need to be set, including some kind of choice, if possible, is helpful. Allowing our teens to have some input usually leads to fewer arguments.
Example: "I know you still have some things to get done today. I need to pick up your brother from soccer practice now; would you rather come with me and work on your summer reading in the car or stay home and finish your laundry?"
In cases where there does not have to be a firm limit, use that time to practice problem-solving with your teen by talking together about different options.
Example: "You want to spend the night at Janie's house. But we are new in town, and I don't know Janie or her parents, so I feel a little worried about that. What ideas do you have about how we can solve this?"
Related videos
Resources
- Tips for Communicating With Your Teen (Child Mind Institute): Learn how to build positive communication with teens to promote positive decision-making.
- Parenting Teens (NIH News in Health): Read about how to guide teens in making choices.
- Teen Brain: Behavior, Problem Solving, and Decision Making (aacap.org): Understand teen brain development and how it affects decision-making.