Teen Mental Health

Please look at the sections below to see some ideas about teen mental health:


Positive parenting

As children get older and become teens, the amount of praise compared to criticism changes; often, there is less praise and more criticism or demands. This can be a problem in a parent's relationship with their teen because the teen might feel less supported. When teens have anxiety, are depressed, or feeling stressed, they want to be able to talk to their parents. When parents and caregivers notice good things about a teen and talk about them in everyday conversations, teens feel supported and can lean on that parent or caregiver in times of need.

What do teens need in terms of limits and choices? Dartmouth Health Children's Catherine Shubkin, MD, shares some tips.

Ways to be more positive with your teens

There is no "perfect parenting," but the more you can be positive with your teen, the better your relationship will be. Follow these ABC's and feel your relationship improve:

  • Aim for connection: Think of your relationship with your teen like a bank account; the more positives (deposits) you can put in—listening, praise, acceptance—the better your relationship gets. Negative comments (withdrawals) can make your relationship more difficult. Regularly check on your deposits and withdrawals, aiming for more positives than negatives.
  • Build moments of positivity: Be aware. Notice and point out when your teen is doing something good or helpful, even if it seems small. Even talking about something easy or funny can also build up the positives in your bank account. Be interested in what your teen likes; have them show you what they look at on social media or TV or talk about what music they like.
  • Cut back on criticism: It's impossible to never make a request or correct your teen, but if you can ensure the positives happen more than the negatives, you will still build a good relationship.

Related videos

Filling up your positive relationship bank is key to building a positive relationship with your teen. Dartmouth Health Children's Sarah Clark, PhD, shares more.
It can be easier to praise younger children as they learn, but finding praiseworthy moments with your teen is just as important. Dartmouth Health Children's Sarah Clark, PhD, shares more.

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Supporting good decision-making

Our job as parents is to guide our teens as they become more independent. Parents need to give teens the space to make decisions. This can be hard, especially when their choices are different from what we would have wanted. Allowing teens to practice with "little" decisions helps them be prepared when facing "big" decisions.

When limits need to be set, including some kind of choice, if possible, is helpful. Allowing our teens to have some input usually leads to fewer arguments.

Setting limits with your teen can be difficult. Dartmouth Health Children's Catherine Shubkin, MD, shares that it is important to set limits they will respect.

Example: "I know you still have some things to get done today. I need to pick up your brother from soccer practice now; would you rather come with me and work on your summer reading in the car or stay home and finish your laundry?"

In cases where there does not have to be a firm limit, use that time to practice problem-solving with your teen by talking together about different options.

Example: "You want to spend the night at Janie's house. But we are new in town, and I don't know Janie or her parents, so I feel a little worried about that. What ideas do you have about how we can solve this?"

Related videos

Is your teen pushing back? Dartmouth Health Children's Catherine Shubkin, MD, shares that it's important to listen and not judge.
Is your teen a perfectionist? Dartmouth Health Children's Sarah Clark, PhD, shares the importance of praising effort over outcomes.

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