- Effective behavior management uses the concept of “two hands on the wheel”: one hand for warmth and relationship-building, the other for discipline.
- Both caregivers in a household can and should be capable of providing both warmth and discipline, rather than dividing these roles.
- Building a strong, positive relationship first makes discipline more effective without damaging the parent-child bond.
- Positive attention and engagement during non-aggressive or appropriate behaviors helps children accept consequences for misbehavior.
- Using this approach, children understand that parents are in charge while remaining sources of support, warmth, and structure.
- Both caregivers acting with warmth and discipline fosters a balanced, nurturing, and structured environment for the child.
Two-Handed Approach to Better Behavior
Balancing warmth and discipline helps children learn boundaries while maintaining trust, and when all caregivers do both, kids get structure without losing connection.
James Craig, PhD, MA, Pediatric Psychiatry
