- Many caregivers struggle with repeated requests to get children to comply with tasks like washing hands or cleaning up.
- Children are not “little evil doers,” but they notice patterns and test limits, effectively timing their parents’ responses.
- Three key rules for effective directives:
- Get their eyes – Ensure the child’s attention before giving a directive.
- Don’t ask if you can’t follow through – Only give instructions you are able to support immediately.
- Ask once, then move – Avoid repeated requests; give the child a short window to comply and intervene if needed.
- If the child does not comply after the directive, physically guiding them to start the task (like picking up toys) can help reinforce action.
- Following these rules reduces nagging, establishes clear expectations, and improves parent-child cooperation.
3 Rules for Directing Kids Effectively
Simple, consistent rules for giving directions strengthen communication and reduce power struggles.
Craig Donnelly, MD, Pediatric Psychiatry
