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3 Rules for Directing Kids Effectively

Many parents struggle with repeated requests to get children to comply with tasks like washing hands or cleaning up.
Children are not “little evil doers,” but they notice patterns and test limits, effectively timing their parents’ responses.
Dr. Donnelly recommends three key rules for effective directives:
1.    Get their eyes – Ensure the child’s attention before giving a directive.
2.    Don’t ask if you can’t follow through – Only give instructions you are able to support immediately.
3.    Ask once, then move – Avoid repeated requests; give the child a short window to comply and intervene if needed.
If the child does not comply after the directive, physically guiding them to start the task (like picking up toys) can help reinforce action.
Following these rules reduces nagging, establishes clear expectations, and improves parent-child cooperation.

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